Mom I am sad but I am getting better. I met a guy and don’t know how to explain things. But I am getting better.

I don’t know how else to say this – so I built a website – to explain things.

I like boys. All of them are so mean. The world is filled with negativity. But one guy finally got through – and made me realize. Maybe it’s me.

He’s cute – he has long hair lives in Atlanta.

He instantly called me out on me flirting with him.

He runs a business – has autism – and even has family in Jacksonville that he visits.

I think he’s coming to see me.

I’m not sure – how else to explain this – but we only had one conversation – and he said his life goal was to open up his own surf shop in Siargao – and he needed someone to build boards.

Mom, I love you but the East Coast and the USA – are not fulfilling for me.

I’m sad. I’m lonely. I want to leave. I love you but if this Dustin guy is serious, and you should see him, he’s sexy and smart, and clever beyond belief.

Also Michael sucks – I’ve always hated him. He’s a homophobe. I can’t even be myself around him.

I just want to build surfboards – with a man, that reminds me of who I am.

I can’t stand Instagram – everyone is so negative. And I’m not depressed. I really hope Dustin is Serious about jerking off to the Philippines and opening that surf shop. Because I need to get out.

And Dustin gets me, he too has grief and needs fresh air. We need each other.

I asked him to build this site for me. It only took him an hour – and I promised him a surfboard when he came here.

Maybe it’s time I paddle out.